Is someone trying to tell me something?
All my Bloglines feeds have vanished — all 600 of them! The clippings, too. Gone. I think someone's trying to keep me working, instead of vegging out, which is what I want to do right now. I'm already tired of Christmas.
This morning, one hour into school holiday, my oldest was crying and digging himself into a very dark place. I was trying to explain to him how to make a potato stamp. He does *not* want me to teach him. I don't even know if I can explain all he's feeling. He's tired, filled with anticipation, not sure if he'll like what he gets — the unknown factor doesn't sit well with him. I don't think he needs surprises. He's happily watching me knit him a scarf, watching the color changes.
The other day he told me he wanted me to be mad at him so that he could do what he wanted, which was something like hitting me or running away. I never got mad at him that day. It was really interesting to watch him process his feelings. Mad, sad, mad, sad. Food helped. A visit with grandpa turned everything around. At the end of the day I'm was totally wiped out. Tired. Too tired for holiday spirit.
Anyone else riding the emotional crazy train with their kids right now? I find the holiday season completely overstimulating. Where's the balance? How can I make it better for my children? For me? I used to think holidays with kids would be the funnest. Now I just think they are hard.
This morning, one hour into school holiday, my oldest was crying and digging himself into a very dark place. I was trying to explain to him how to make a potato stamp. He does *not* want me to teach him. I don't even know if I can explain all he's feeling. He's tired, filled with anticipation, not sure if he'll like what he gets — the unknown factor doesn't sit well with him. I don't think he needs surprises. He's happily watching me knit him a scarf, watching the color changes.
The other day he told me he wanted me to be mad at him so that he could do what he wanted, which was something like hitting me or running away. I never got mad at him that day. It was really interesting to watch him process his feelings. Mad, sad, mad, sad. Food helped. A visit with grandpa turned everything around. At the end of the day I'm was totally wiped out. Tired. Too tired for holiday spirit.
Anyone else riding the emotional crazy train with their kids right now? I find the holiday season completely overstimulating. Where's the balance? How can I make it better for my children? For me? I used to think holidays with kids would be the funnest. Now I just think they are hard.
30 Comments:
It's hard with the kids right now, but I'm trying to keep everyone busy with small projects and baking, so nobody has too much time to sit around and brood.
Before I start rambling about motherhood and forget, when I click your public feed link for bloglines, I can still see them all.
What helps my kid get through periods where we are off of our usual routine:
Busy, busy, busy with active stuff. Bowling, soccer, indoor mini golf, childrens museum, running laps around the backyard, etc.
Routines: up at the same time, meals at the same time, bed at the same time.
Advance warning: Tomorrow we are going to x.y.z. In one hour we are going to x.y.z.
Involvement and limited choices: what would you like to do (2 choices) and when.
A calendar to keep track of what we are going to do and when.
For the "angries": I have recently started having Jack blow bubbles. Even if they are imaginary bubbles, it makes him breathe.
Mostly though I can just sympathize. Jack has always been an easily overwhelmed kid. These times are hard on him too, so I make an extra effort to keep the visiting, the parties, the mess etc. to a minimum.
I think the older they get the smoother it goes. Of course my nine year old had a total meltdown today so what do I know?! Our holiday break should have started today but we have been out since last friday because of snow so I had to get creative a week early. We haven't really been able to go anywhere so I have just had to let go of a lot of things and sit down and be with the kids- crafting, cookying, etc. It has been surprisingly nice. I think the key is to keep things just distracting enough but simple enough that you don't go crazy. Good luck with the break!
My "good girls" have gone completely in the toilet this week. I think its the combination of the build up to the holidays and the increased lack of time spent outside - colder and darker earlier. This year hasn't been as bad as years past since we don''t have Tv and they aren't bombarded with media images and pressure. I just try to keep them busy, building snowmen, making cookies, making their own presents for family and friends, reading holiday stories and constantly talking about their "choices", behavioral wise.
But really I have no clue if what I'm doing is making any difference.
yes! and all that sugar isn't helping a damn bit.
I don't know how to make things better, I feel exactly as you do right now. I didn't even think about that it was related to Christmas and I think you are right. I am just ready to pull my hair out and instead I'm reading my bloglines and found your post. Just wanted to leave a comment and say hello, you are not alone, and this too shall pass, right?
I'm not feeling the holiday spirit either. In fact I can identify way too much with your little man. Pitiful for a grown woman. I think there's just too much expectations wrapped up into one day. I'll be glad for January.
You are not alone. The kids are overwhelmed and I am starting to get short tempered. I just keep breathing and remind myself that this happens only once a year.
I love the honesty in this post, thanks for sharing. You aren't alone, we're definitely experiencing some craziness. I chalk it up to the dark, short days, because we don't do the mayhem out there so it can't be really that it's Christmas for us.
Weird about Bloglines. I noticed today that I lost 5 subscribers and you were one of them. I wonder if Bloglines is having issues again?
I know I don't comment, but I still enjoy popping into your blog, so much good stuff here :)
Happy holidays to you.
I think the holidays get harder with kids once they enter kindergarten and up:: all the social pressure and anticipation. We have been pretty mellow this year (despite moving) because I am not making/ getting anyone anything this year; we moved so I have a great excuse to have a low key year. But I think I need to always just think about what is really worth my sanity every year!
ps love the yule log- so cool!
First of all, I'm still subscribed to your feed, so something's wonky with your info.
Secondly, I'm a pretty natural person and usually turn to herbs when stuff like this happens. I love ashwaganda for our youngest. I've seen it stop a temper tantrum mid-scream. This link http://www.lifespa.com/product.aspx?prod_id=121 describes it pretty well, but I buy mine from Vitacost not LifeSpa (way cheaper). Good luck with it, though.
wow, it always is nice to know you're not alone. great post and helpful comments. thanks, guys. coincidentally, i recall always loving this time as a child, so we were probably all overstimulated too but let those memories go. Except... ok, i have always remembered this early nightmare (4 years old, incredible hulk chasin' me down in crptonite land!) and I had it during christmastime...
On sick days (when we're not too sick) I fill a bowl with slips of paper each listing an activity. Every hour the kids take turns choosing one. It could be a craft, writing a story, baking something, taking turns reading. The routine activities seemed to be more exciting if we picked from the bowl.
I'm going to try to make sure everyone has some exercise, stick to bedtimes, and possibly find a volunteer activity so we don't focus on ourselves too much.
And don't know what the bloglines problem is, but may I suggest two words: "google reader".
My youngest is almost 15 but he has always had trouble this time of year. Our celebrations start at Halloween (his favorite), then his sister's birthday in November, Hanukah and Christmas (we do both), my birthday just before New Year and ends with his birthday in mid-January. So much expectation packed into a few cold,dark months.
He has never like surprises, either. Too much worry that it might not be what he wanted or, as he has gotten older, worry that it will be what he wanted but disappoint anyway.
All that to say that the only thing that works is for me to chill about the whole thing. I let him do as much or as little decorating, baking, general participating as he feels like. Lately, I have let him pick out what gifts he wants and know that they will be waiting for him. Only the stocking has any surprises and he recently said, "Just candy, Mom, not all those silly little gadgets."
Hard to do, but when I let go of wanting Christmas to be the way I wanted/hoped then I could enjoy it.
First time commenting...but my 4-year old is on the crazy train, push, pull, push, pull. Hectic holiday time, plus he's gaining a baby brother or sister on 12/30. There's a whole lot of emotional processing going on.
You're definitely not alone.
I don't have kids of my own, but I do teach in a middle school. I made the mistake recently of saying how well-behaved my students are this year. Oh, well...I'm so glad they're out for the holidays now, for their sakes and mine. I haven't seen this many behavioral issues in so short a period for a long time. I think Sarah and Jack said it right - a change in schedule starts it. When students are thrown out of their routines, even when the unusual activities are fun, it seems to throw them in a state of uncertainty. Multiply this by the peer pressure thing to be cool and you have some really jacked up, nervous kids who take it out on everyone around them. At least they'll have a longer break this time (not returning until Jan 5) to find themselves again. I plan to start out January with a tight schedule and lots of busy work to get them back on track. You're lucky to have the grand dad to help out. Good luck.
Well your post made me feel better like I am not alone. My boys are 4 and 2 and they have been constantly fighting all weekend long. Sure they are boys and they fight a lot but it seems like I haven't had a break to cook, clean, or wrap gifts. Maybe it's because they can sense the stress on me with the holiday almost here. I am not sure. As sad as it may seem I am ready for December to be over already.
What do you mean "now"? I am always a passenger on the crazy train. We've had about two weeks of sickness with one or two home, it's been fraying.
aw. transitions are hard. by the time they get used to being home, then school starts again and they have to adjust all over. boo.
hope it all mellows out and you guys have a great holiday! xoxo
excitement gets the best of tashi. since thanksgiving there have only been a handful of evenings when she has actually fallen asleep before 11 and not come downstairs to announce at least three times that she can't sleep. i'm sure the increased amount of sugar doesn't help. unfortunately i have little advice, though it sounds like a phase and that he might handle the holidays much differently in years to follow.
aw poor guy, poor you too.
yup my 10yo is on a rollercoaster right now as well.
it's joyful & triumphant.
A-Men, Sistah!
I said the other day, "I HATE xmas"
I don't. I'm just tired too.
Here's hoping you find that peace somewhere.
-Merryanne in Kimberton, PA
Maybe you can spread out the gift opening a bit. We had to do this one year. On Christmas morning, the kids were so wound up from the holidays that they ended up crying after about three presents were opened.
Each year, now, we let them open a few on Christmas eve, and then we take a few hours on Christmas to do the rest.
600 feeds?? Holy cow I think you reached the upper limit and it dumped everything into a black hole.
It's just cabin fever I fear. I'm glad to report from the other side of raising kids that everything turns out well. They still might have meltdowns but usually not in my presence.
- Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife
wow...it's like you are channeling my life. My kids too are flip flopping between completely nuts, happy as a clam and depressed. I feel like it is my fault because of the holiday sweets and family and friends constantly in and out of the house...the endless amounts of gifts that keep appearing etc. I guess we are NOT alone...I feel better about myself already. Now, to get back to the "normal" life that seemed ever so boring. I think that the holidays just get too over stimulating for us all.
ok Michelle, what are we making for Valentines Day? I need your inspiration. And something cuter than the crocheted cardboard valentines... i know you can do it!
Engaging kids in some or the other activities during the holiday season is best. May be we can make them learn some arts and crafting. I feel this the best
Jane
hi,
I can imagine how difficult it is for you. Its really hard to manage kids these days. They tend to develop an indivuduality very early now.
Let me know if you find any answers to your questions, I would like to use them with my kids too.
I didn't even think about that it was related to Christmas and I think you are right. I am just ready to pull my hair out and instead I'm reading my bloglines and found your post. Just wanted to leave a comment and say hello, you are not alone, and this too shall pass, right?
I didn't even think about that it was related to Christmas and I think you are right. I am just ready to pull my hair out and instead I'm reading my bloglines and found your post. Just wanted to leave a comment and say hello, you are not alone, and this too shall pass, right?
I didn't even think about that it was related to Christmas and I think you are right. I am just ready to pull my hair out and instead I'm reading my bloglines and found your post. Just wanted to leave a comment and say hello, you are not alone, and this too shall pass, right?
I didn't even think about that it was related to Christmas and I think you are right. I am just ready to pull my hair out and instead I'm reading my bloglines and found your post. Just wanted to leave a comment and say hello, you are not alone, and this too shall pass, right?
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